i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
