Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
