My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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