You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize