dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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