kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
