My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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