Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
