Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
