Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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