I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You ate ashes out of my bong
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
