worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
