so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
