So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
