remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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