Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
