so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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