we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
false alarm. still invincible.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
