Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Redeem this text for a blowjob
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
