no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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