I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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