grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
