In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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