kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
