i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
