Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
