masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just want to make out with him forever
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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