roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
