I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
