I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
