There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
