Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
