Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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