i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
