I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
