I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
