With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
