i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
