don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
