Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Randomize
