So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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