first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
