ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
