Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Randomize
