my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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