She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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