So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
