My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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