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I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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