That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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